Category: Dating….again

Reformed Snuggletarians…

And then they discovered snuggletarianism and it was gooood! -Mike 4:16

     What is snuggletarianism you might ask?  It’s a lovely “religion” of sorts that we invented upon discovering just how much we enjoyed snuggling one another. A religion that we have become very devout to!  You see, that’s because something very profound happened to us the evening of our first date.  Not just that we had fun at dinner, or enjoyed each others company and conversation for hours, or that we had experienced wonderful “all that jazz” into the wee hours of the morning.  You see, when it came time for us to actually sleep we cuddled up with one another in a classic spooning position and something mysterious, magical and frankly quite out of theCozy Snuggle Blankets I ordinary happened. That something was that we totally fell asleep!! This is monumental because as Nancy and I later discussed she was as much of an independent sleeper as I was.  In fact the next morning we both commented that traditionally neither one of us could stand cuddling and could not wait to roll on over to our own cozy corner of the bed and slumber free of any sort of encumbrance.

     The exact reasons as to why neither one of us had experienced the shear comfort and relaxation we experienced that night we can only speculate about.  Was it that the difference in our heights allowed us to fit just right, was it that just the right pillow placement had occurred, or was it proper positioning of the moon and stars?  Who knows and who cares, we had both discovered something wonderful in each other that we had never has the pleasure of experiencing before.   Needless to say we came to the conclusion that we had just plain found the right person to snuggle up to.

     From that fateful day on we have not wavered from our devout following of the snuggletarian way. In fact we attend services whenever possible!  A soothing hug before heading off to work, a re-energizing hug after a long or difficult day. A spoon or even a reverse spoon at night, in the morning, or any ol time.  Then there is the one we like to call the “enhanced” snuggle which, though I won’t go into explicit detail, transitions into some very intimate couple time lets just say.  So if you’re lucky enough to have found your cosmic cuddler take that as a VERY positive sign that the person you have discovered might just be a a great fit for you….LITERALLY!  I’m pretty darn sure neither one of us had ever said to ourselves – hey, I want to find my snuggletarian soul mate – but if we knew then what we know now we just may have.Cozy Snuggle Blankets II

     We believe the benefits we experience from the closeness we share in our snuggletarian ways are many and can be felt beyond the time we share together but reather throughout our entire day.  Sometimes it seems as though we can feel every muscle relax when we cuddle or snuggle and I’m thinking it might even be lowering our blood pressure at the same time.  But you don’t just have to take my word for it because I discovered that in Santa Monica, California can be found the “Cuddle Santuary” and its founder Jean Franzblau which provides a fun and social place for people to give and receive healthy touch. She notes, “I found that when my needs for cuddling were met, I felt better in all areas of my life.” and where the philosophy “that we all deserve healthy, human touch” is very alive and well.  Jean’s website provides tools and guidelines for an array of cuddle experiences as well as the opportunity to learn the many benefits of being a cuddler / snuggler.  Who knew there was a place where professional cuddlers could be found?! Nancy and I blissfully found this out on our own but its nice to see that we aren’t the only ones who have made this wonderful discovery.  Personally I think the world could stand to benefit from this kind of thinking for sure, especially these days.

When all is said and done I guess my point to this post is that if you are lucky enough to find a special someone that can take the stress of the world away with a simple yet meaningful cuddle or snuggle then you have found something very special indeed.  In a world where “red flags” are all to commonly found in the dating pool, we believe if you happen to discover your cosmic cuddler that this is a giant “green flag”.  Just plain slowing down the world for a few minutes or more a day can really make a difference in a relationship.

–Mike

Chapter Four – A New Beginning – Part II

     Well, we finally managed to leave our fortress of coziness and headed out of the restaurant and back to the car.  Along the way I reached out at some point and held her hand for the chilly walk back to the car.  It seemed so very natural to do so and our eyes caught each other as we held hands for the first time.  We had both decided that the movie was not really in the cards for that evening so we decided to head back to Nancy’s house.  If the evening had ended at Nancy’s door with good night kiss and the memory of such a pleasant time with a wonderful person I would have called that a great date but when we pulled up to the curb in front of her house Nancy uttered the words I had terribly hoped I would hear, “would you like to come in” she said.  In my head I was thinking, HELL YEAH I DO, but calmly replied “sure” with a boyish nod and a smile.

     Nancy’s place was a lovely little farmhouse style home circa 1903 and when we entered her door I found that it was all done up for Christmas still.  It was so picturesque and charmiClay House Ing and I instantly felt a sense of what a special person it must have taken to create such a lovely environment.  I was growing more and more impressed with this wonderful person I happen to be out on a date with.  As we came in, Nancy offered me a beverage which I accepted and we settled onto her couch as her two cats introduced themselves to me.  We continued the great conversation that we were having with our dinner and sipped our beverages.  It was as if we were long lost friends that had at last found each other and were catching up on every little thing.  I wanted very much to lean over and give Nancy a kiss but I am kind of a shy person so I thought better of the idea.  It wasn’t very long after this though that we both acknowledged how glad we both were that we had taken a chance met each other that night.  And with that Nancy leaned in and we enjoyed our first kiss.

     Now a gentleman does not kiss and tell, however, once the ice was broken between us there was little stopping the epic making out that ensued.  I’m not exactly sure how long we enjoyed ourselves there on the couch as it kind of seemed that the entire time-space continuum ceased to exist for the rest of the evening.  It was at some point in this blur of delight that we agreed we should retire to the “upstairs” and we climbed her creaky stairs hand in hand.  However, remembering that this house was build in 1903 as I climbed the stairs, it seemed that with each succeeding step the air temperature was dropping a couple of degrees. Until re reached Nancy’s bedroom where I could swear one could almost see their breath.  She acknowledged the cold as we attempted to keep the fires that had started on the couch alive and well in her bedroom.  We agreed that we should immediately jump under the covers for “warmth”.Pile o' cat  The two cats seized this opportunity to mount themselves on us for as much warmth as they could glean from our shivering yet warming bodies.  Again, a gentleman does not kiss and tell (especially when his wife is his editor), but we shared a wonderful night that night and became what we like to call “reformed snuggltarians” as we slept in each others arms until the morning came.

     When the new day was upon us, which was not exactly early in the morning, we agreed that at some point we were going to have to leave the cozy confines of bed and face the chilly outside world.  We did so in a way that seemed, once again, very at ease with one another.  There was no awkward uncomfortable conversation, no sprinting to the bathroom in order to hide from each other in the light of day, but rather a feeling of romance and happiness with one another.  We finally made our way back downstairs and Nancy offered up a kind of brunch that consisted of cheese (of course), some yummy fruit, and the best coffee I think I’ve ever had in my life. It was a very sunny, bright, yet still quite cold day outside but it looked as warm and wonderful as any spring day.  We listened to a bit of music, ate our brunch, realized we never made it to the movie, and recalled our favorite moments of the previous evening together to each other.  It was a blissful morning.  Time flew by, however, and Nancy let me know that she had a 2pm meeting with a member of her nonprofit board.  Therefore I was going to have to leave sometime soon.  We both finished up our brunch and made ourselves presentable to the day and then it was time to end what would become the beginning of Nancy and I.  As I prepared to leave we continued to share soft kisses as I moved toward the door.  At long last it was time for me to make my departure.  Not knowing exactly what to say after such a wonderful time I naturally blurted out something pretty stupid.  I said “thank you for such a wonderful date and all that jazz” to which Nancy quickly replied “so that’s what their calling it these days eh”?  And with that we had a big laugh at the moment, kissed a happy kiss, and parted ways for now.

–Mike

Chapter Four – A New Beginning – Part I

     Nancy and I talked it over and decided to go out on New Year’s evening 1/1/11.  One of the things that struck me very early about Nancy was what a strategic thinker she was.  Both of us talked about how going out New Year’s evening should be ideal as everyone else in the world were probably recovering from New Year’s Eve.  Sheer brilliance!!

     So I gave what Nancy and I might do on our first date some thought.  Yes, I really DID give it a bit of thought.  Note to men out there:  When taking someone out for the first time DO give it a bit of thought.  There is no down side to doing this but dare I say plenty of upside!  We had already established our mutual love for all things cheese related, including fondue, so I embarked on a bold plan to have us go out to dinner at The Melting Pot for a cheesy, delicious fondue experience.  In addition to a cheesy dining experience I was thinking that one of the movies we had been discussing in our conversations with one another might be a good idea.  Yeees, I know, dinner and a movie, sounds generic and safe but wait…..read on.

     The next evening  that we spoke I put forth my idea of dinner at The Melting Pot and going to see a movie (today, neither one of us remember what the movie was that we intended to see that evening).  The idea was well received but Nancy also suggested that we meet up first for a cuppa coffee at a little place we were both familiar with called Bipartisan Cafe. I thought this sounded like a great idea so I said sure.  Little did I know that there were doins-a-foot to provide Nancy an escape plan from the date juuuust in case I turned out to be a dweeb. Bipartisan Cafe would provide that litmus test but clearly THAT did not happen! Thank goodness!

     A couple of days passed and each of us was getting excited for the weekend to arrive so that we could finally meet in person and see where fate would take us.  New Year’s Eve seemed simply uneventful ahead of the grand evening I had planned out.  Finally the weekend arrived… 1/1/11.  The day was fairly normal as Saturdays go, sleep in a bit, watch a bit of football, run a couple of errands, you know, normal stuff.  Toward late afternoon I started to give some thought as to what I might wear that evening and… wait a minute… what was that… I definitely had a butterfly flutter through inside of me… Whoa! Nerves! How cuuuute!

     We were to meet at six at Bipartisan Cafe and I DID NOT want to be late so I got all gussied up and left in plenty of time to get there a tad early.  Note: now there were a shit ton of butterflies in me. I arrived at Bipartisan and found a small table at the front corner of the cafe.  A place where I could be seen as well as see.  A couple of minutes passed and I pretended to read the Willy Week.  Then it happened, Nancy came around the corner outside and into view.  I remember that moment today as vivid as if it happened just a few minutes ago.  Her eyes met mine and she instantly lit up in a smile that made me all a flutter.  The thing I noticed most of all about her was that when she smiled even her eyes smiled.

Bi Partisan Coffee...

     She came in and we hugged our hellos and confirmed that we were, in fact, who each other thought we were.  You know… Hey Nancy…hey Mike… Hi, how are you, sigh, lets have a seat, yeah, ok…  I guess neither one of us had prepared an opening script which I suppose is probably a good thing.  Anyhoo, we just started chatting about everything from Ok Cupid, to New Year’s idiots the night before, to what wonderful pie they had in the case.  It was as if we were old friends that had met up after a long, long time between seeing each other.  She was very easy to have a conversation with and our conversation flowed delightfully.  Then I said, “you want a coffee or anything” and she was all over that as it was a really cold night and a warm cuppa sounded like just the ticket right about now.  Nancy had also walked to the cafe so she needed some warming up.

     I had made reservations for our dinner to be at seven thirty so after we finished what was a refreshingly delicious cup of coffee we decided to head out to have din.  I found out later that it was at this time she excused herself to go to the loo but actually went there to text her bestie that she need not worry about rescuing her as I seemed like a decent fellow.  Whew!  The Melting Pot in Portland is smack in the middle of downtown and wouldn’t you know it the freeway heading into downtown had some sort of major traffic problem and looked like a parking lot.  I made the split second decision to take an alternate route that would actually take us into Washington state for a bit and get around all that traffic.  Brilliant right?!?!? However, Nancy made a joke at the time about me kidnapping her and has not let me forget about that “detour” to this day.

     We arrived at the restaurant and it turned out to be an oasis of subterranean warmth and coziness on a terribly cold evening.  We ordered our first course which was cheese fondue of course (do you see a theme here) and continued to share a mealMmm, cheese fondue that was quite to our liking.  Our seat was an intimate little booth somewhat off to the side of the restaurant (someone was watching over me) and it lent itself to wonderful conversation, sharing laughs, and at times giving each other a somewhat inviting gaze.  Looking back there were times during that meal where I very much wanted to lean over and give her a nice soft kiss as the booth had us sitting in close quarters next to one another.  However, I said to myself… eassssy cowboy, don’t be quite so forward just yet and continued to enjoy our just being together there in the moment.  Courses continued to come, we continued to laugh, talk, and say a lot of mmmms.  So much so that time just seemed to stand still but it was getting quite late and we had more than missed the movie that we had intended to go see. Ohhhh well!!  (To be continued)

–Mike

Chapter Two – The rating game

     The “rating game” is what I like to call the series of events that may or may not lead up to a date after you come in contact with someone on an online dating site, however, a similar process comes into play when you meet someone in the real world as well. The rating game can consist of everything from looking at a picture of your potential date and noticing a spill or stain on their clothing (clearly a dis qualifier) to learning that they support some sort of industry, political party, or pizza place that you don’t, to being just plain incompatible in some sort of peculiar fashion.

     The rating game for Nancy and I must have begun with checking each other out in our bios on OK Cupid.  I liked what I read and I liked what I saw.  Although her pictures really did NOT do her justice.

Mike and Nancy

     Anyhoo, after I came up with THE most incredible opening line ever, Nancy and I set off on a journey of exploration using nothing more than the typed word!  How bizarre, this typing of messages back and forth and actually having the thoughts and conversation flow with ease.  How modern this is I thought. We continued messaging each other back and forth exchanging thoughts, ideas, opinions and it was great!  I like this person!

     After somewhere around the half hour to forty five minute mark in our conversation I made my mind up to pop “the question”, NO not THAT question but the one question that has both plagued and delighted men of the modern age, that question, “can I have your number”?  I didn’t blurt it out in such a clumsy way but rather wrote “can I call you sometime”?  She typed her digits in the next message and that feeling of pure euphoria you get when you make a connection washed over me.  Round one of the rating game had come to a delightful conclusion.  The next round would be the “can we hold a conversation over the phone round” little did I know what her voice and manner would be but I was very much looking forward to finding out.

Feel free to share any “rating game” stories you might have through a comment…

Mike

Dating…again

     Well, if our bedroom category encompasses all things associated with love then what goes “hand in hand” with love but dating?  However, not just dating in the sense of the “traditional” boy meets girl, falls in love, blah, blah, blah… dating, but rather woman meets man, man meets woman, man meets man, or woman meets woman ( I’m sure I left out other possibilities but you get the idea) in the comedic theater of post divorce dating.  Anyhoo, we hope to explore all aspects of the trials and tribulations of anyone that has put themselves back out there again and found it to be, “challenging”, in this section of our blog.

So share a dating horror story, or success story today by leaving a comment…

Mike & Nancy